"what are you doing man?" "hold on, I'm watching this porno of a pregnant mother going a BJ while taking it up the rear on a highway bridge" quality...

I take dumps and public bathrooms. I don't flush as testimony to my awesomeness. ;o3

while pulling out of my parking spot, I hit the car behind me. Unfortunately there were witnesses so I go out out to check for damage and left a "note." ;o3

Susan Boyle has an amazing voice, but she is just so ugly I can't stand watching her or even listening to her sign because I get mental images of her. Why can't talent and beauty go hand in hand? God is so cruel sometimes ;o3

I absolutely hate my brother-in-law, he's a freeloading, barely working, big headed nut sack. We went over to my sister's house (which she bought herself) to have dinner yesterday and, as usual, left hungry and pissed off. But not before my brother dropped some pubes on his steak. Ahhh, good times.

Once when I was asked for directions, I pointed the guy in the wrong direction on purpose. I was having a bad day ;o3

I take toilet paper from the gym because I'm too lazy to buy it myself... ;o3

I left my suite-mate 1 square of toilet paper on the roll.... there are no more rolls. PWNT ;o3

I've confessed several times on this site on different names... i like to read my own entries from time to time because it cracks me up. I wish i could tell you that i made those stories up, but I'd be lying. I'm that awesomely shameless ;o3

I just love sifting through the news or taking any normal phrase or encounter and then exaggerating it until its become unrecognizable as the original, twisting it and turning it into something that sounds almos believable but is really an insult to the person or article I'd originally started. http://thetrialsofmegaman.blogspot.com/