to all those youtube skanks that strip on cam... thanks. ;o3

I try to act and hold my eyes as hard as I can to look like i'm sleeping so I don't have to take care of the kids in the morning. ;o3

I go to a third rate medical school. I bearly got in. i have no idea how I even got in, but I jump at every chance I get to introduce myself as a future doctor ;o3

I fake ADD symptoms to get adderall... I crush it up and snort it for a high and weight loss, best workout ever! ;o3

I am sitting at the library right now across from a stud! He is reading his philosophy book while I'm mentally undressing him and having hot steamy mental library sex....OooOo if only he knew ;o3

"I'd put her down like a sick dog," -The Hills

I cheated on my husband...9 months later the baby came out with curly black hair (my husband is blond and so am i, both straight hair), I told my husband that I was 1/8th black... some how he believed me, thank goodness i have a ghetto booty ;o3

Last night, I got totally wasted at a frat party and ended up in one of the guys rooms. Things were going well so I went down on him... he started getting forceful so I told him to stop. He didn't, I "accidentally" used my teeth a few times before I got up and left. ;o3

When I heard about the swine flu today, I thought, "Damn Asians are at it again." Turns out it wasn't them, it was probably the Mexicans... I will now refrain from eating anything Mexican. You should too.

I purposely look for cameras in elevators so I can give the security guards a free show when I'm with my boyfriend. ;o3